Memoirs
by CorruptedHeart
Summary: A brittle winter was what Rosalie Hale was used too, but in the shadows lurked something ever colder than the first snowfall. Her memories on the day she met the man who changed her life, and way she saw people. Pre-Twilight. ExR A/U R&R.


**Memoirs.**

**A CorruptedHeart production.**

**Edward Cullen & Rosalie Hale.**

Rated: M.

Fandom: Twilight.

Ship: Edward/Rosalie

Summary: A brittle winter was what Rosalie Hale was used too, but in the shadows lurked something ever colder than the first snowfall. Her memories on the day she met the man who changed her life, and way she saw people. A/U. R&R.

**I do not own Twilight. If I did, Jacob wouldn't suck...**

PRE-FACE/PROLOUGE.

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I never wanted this, I never wanted to be like this, I never expected to be married to a man who found beauty in all my flaws. It was through no fault of my own that I fell for Emmett, he treated me the way I had always dreamed of being treated. Of finding a guy who would never wish to look at another woman; because I was all he needed. Not being out late, leaving me wondering if he was with someone else, if I wasn't good enough, or if I was too much. Emmett surrounded me with undying love, the love you read about in books, and captivated me with non stop attention. I craved to be wanted, that was my problem. That had always been my problem. But the man who gave me everything I wanted _wasn't_ the man I wanted to shower me with these things. The man I have forever had unspoken need, want, and cravings for went about pretending that I didn't exist. Pretending that I wasn't there and that he couldn't hear my thoughts. He made excuses about my thoughts. Said I was forever thinking about myself, and then rushing off to be in a different room because my train of thoughts were too shallow for him. None of this was true, because my thoughts were always on one thing, and one thing alone; **him.**

At this present moment in time; I was sitting in the living room, legs crossed, with my eyes on a magazine. I wasn't reading it, I usually did this just to get out of doing anything else. Pretend I was too self absorbed in reading articles in how humans stayed beautiful in their aging lives, when reality was; I sat and listened to the gentle flow of music echoing a mere few inches from me. Edward always played his lullabies around noon, to pass the time. Especially on a day where the sun was too bright and we were bound to stay away from any human eyes. Of course, winter was just around the corner. The weather would take a spur of rain, snow, sun and then start the cycle all over again. I had even marked down days on what the weather would be like throughout the winter, it was that predictable. Our time was that easily pushed around, that Edward had composed countless pieces of music. Even one for myself; though he rarely played it. It was only when he was feeling nice, which was rare for him to be to me, and had nothing better to do. Every now and then, I would ask. But as always, I'd get a sake of the head, or ignored completely.

I peeked up over the magazine, watching his posture that was clothed by a blue shirt, and black jeans, and watching his hands move effortlessly across the keys. His eyes were closed, but that was mainly because he was forever in deep concentration when it came down to playing his music. I thought I might as well humour myself in getting a conversation. There was no harm, right?

_'Are you hunting tonight, Edward?'_

Edward shook his head, no words spoken. He didn't even glance up towards me in the slightest.

_'But you haven't fed in over a week,'_

He shrugged, eyes still closed.

_'If you like, I could come with you..'_

He shook his head.

This was what it was always like for me. My attempts in trying to somehow come closer to Edward, somehow get any emotion of him for me, but I always wound up with the same result. _**Nothing.**_

Yet again, I turned my fake attention to the magazine, but let my thoughts lead to when there was a time I did believe I stood a chance with him. That maybe we could have been something special.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Well, there was no harm in having a little read.

_'There are steps in making him love __**you**__. First step: Make the choice if he is worth it._

_Is he worth your affection, your admiration, etc. If he has gone so long without giving a damn, is he worth it?'_

I smirked, again, rolling my eyes. Of course, there was always one answer for that one. Was he worth it?** Yes.**

_'Second step: Rewind all the times you've had together and pin-point the bits that made him uncaring to you. And, if you are brave enough; ask him. Ask him what he thought was wrong with you, etc.'_

_'Third step: Change that. Show him that you aren't that person. If he thinks you were too kind; be mean. If he thinks you were too mean: be nice. Give the opposite day a try. It will leave him stunned!_

_Fourth step: Show him you are under control, and know what you want. Show him that you are willing to give all it takes to get him. This will drive him insane with ego._

_Fifth step: Flaunt what you got. Instead of wearing jeans and a turtleneck; show a bit of skin girl! This will give you the 'WOW' effect when it comes to his attention._

_Sixth step: Confront him. Tell him everything, make him feel like he is in the driver seat. All this will work._

I got bored and closed the mag quickly. Tossing it to the side, I leant back in the sofa more.

"That was an interesting article," Edward's voice sounded over his delightful music.

I rolled my eyes, sarcastically. "Yeah, but it's a lot of crap. Everyone knows if a guy wants something, he'd make it happen."

Edward's lips quirked upward, almost causing my unbeating heart come to life. This was the effect he had on me all the time. And I mean, all the time. Just that little smile set my soul on fire. Worst thing was, he rarely smiled. But when he did, it was the most magical thing ever.

"Can you stop thinking so loudly?" Edward said, abruptly. I stood up, pulling down my tight red summer dress. Yeah, I know. It was winter, but I was wearing a summer dress. I thought I might as well get a laugh here or there, seeing as I basically lived in the house of gloom. I walked on over towards his piano, he didn't even as much open his eyes. I rested beside him, which caused him to scoot further away; to the edge of the seat.

"Then I'll sit closer so we can chat.,"

"About what exactly?" He replied.

I smiled to myself. "Life. Or, hey. Lets talk about sex."

His eyes opened and he stopped playing the music, which was my aim. I was good at what I did, wasn't I? "Rosalie, leave me alone."

His dark topaz eyes lingered in mine. I saw the flicking of compassion, the flare of heat, and somewhere; deep down, the light of his soul. At least one of us still had one. But what got me was the fact, his face gave away exactly what he said. There was... hesitance in his eyes.

"You really want me to leave you alone?" I asked, keeping my hold on his eyes. That flick came back.

"Yes."

"Are you sure.." By this point, I was leaning in; and oddly enough, he was too. "Just tell me when to stop."

He didn't. Edward kept his mouth closed; while I closed in. Maybe, I was finally going to get what I had always wanted. But at the last moment, Edward pulled away; quickly dashing across the room. "This is wrong, you're married. Emmett is loyal to you, he loves you more than anything! I don't love you, Rosalie! I never will love you. Now just... stop it with these thoughts. It will never happen between us, I never wanted you. I never will want you."

And then he was gone.

And I was alone. Again.

Though, at least we had come closer to something. Closer to something that we had once had. The story between Edward and I was a confusing, twisting, and long list of love, tragedy and pain. The best way to show you, would be to let you into my mind. To see the story, we have to go back. Back to the day where it all began. The day I first met the cold, but beautiful Edward Cullen.

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**A/N:**

Bit short, but I want to see if I can continue it. If you guys are actually interested in such a story. Leave me a little review if I should continue? Many thanks.

**-C.H.**


End file.
